Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A Few Bad Guys

It gives cause to wonder if intellectual property laws are selectively applied in Singapore. First they rip off Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance", and mangled the lyrics into an ode to a NDP Fun Pack. Now one of the best Jack Nicholson movies is endangered by some brown nosing MediaCorp executive's dubious attempt to "honor" three characters. The common denominator in the triumvirate is that each has had his grubby hands, at one time or the other, on our secretive reserves, a significant component of the pricing for a public housing flat. We thank Mah Bow Tan for that gem.

The original play by Aaron Sorkin tells the story of military lawyers at a court-martial who uncover a high-level conspiracy, in the course of defending their United States Marines clients who are accused of murder. We know how a Singapore version will end: public prosecutors withhold evidence, wrongfully extracted confessions, and victims are narrowly saved from the gallows after an appeal by a saint of a solicitor working pro-bono - there are a few good lawyers in town. Maybe there's hope after all, we won't be downgrading from First World to Third.

Some lines which require minor tweaks, and we should have an Oscar contender on our hands:

Kaffee: Is the colonel's underwear HDB flat pricing a matter of national security?

Kaffee: Maybe, if we work at it, we can get Dawson charged with the Kennedy assassination. fix the opposition and rule forever.

Kaffee: You don't need a patch on your arm to have honor. of detaining innocent people without trial.

Kaffee: This code of honor of yours makes me wanna beat the *shit* outta somebody. [no change required]

Kaffee: I want the truth! about our reserves!
Col. Jessep: [shouts] You can't handle the truth! You can't even handle my "Hard Truths" book!

Lt. Weinberg: Cmdr. Galloway, Lt. Kaffee is considered to be the best litigator in our office. He successfully plea bargained sued and bankrupted 44 cases political opponents in 9 months.
Kaffee: One more and I get a set of steak knives. and I get a National Day Award.

Col. Jessep: I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. Remember, one freak election result, and I get to send in the army.

Downey: What did we do wrong? We did nothing wrong.
Dawson: Yeah, we did. We were supposed to fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves. We were supposed to fight for Willie. Singaporeans, not the foreign talent crowd.

Col. Jessep: We follow give orders, son. We follow give orders or people die your asset values will be in peril, your security will be at risk and our women will become maids in other people's countries, foreign workers. It's that simple. Are we clear?
 Kaffee: Yes sir.
Col. Jessep: Are we clear?
Kaffee: Crystal.


  1. When that 'Hard Truth' came out , I was joking about that line from 'A Few Good men' : ' You can't handle the truth ' ! Now they decided to name a show with that title ! They sure know how to take and give....

  2. Col Jessep: I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very "freedom" that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon(job), and stand a post(work till your death). Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

  3. Satire/Joke - Singapore Book Titles I'd Like to See

    2. "Affordable Housing in Singapore" by Mah Bow Tan
    A mystery fiction about Singapore, the BTO version is expected to cost $299.
    Meanwhile the DBSS limited edition will cost $1,999, a $1000 reduction from its earlier price of $2,999

    3. A prolific writer, Lim Swee Say is working on the following book titles;
    a. "Better Listening Skills",
    b. "My Adventures in English Grammar",
    c. "Memorable Quotes and Phrases"

    4. "An Intelligent Comment For Any Occasion" by Tin Pei Ling

    5. Well known prolific writer Lee Kuan Yew is writing two books at the moment.
    a. "Ageing Gracefully"
    b. "Creating a Legacy of Love"
    c. "Letting Go - Trusting People to do the Right Thing"

  4. This is turning to be may daily satire fix. Thank you all.

  5. I almost puked out when i saw the trailer. Canyou believe the audacity they have in giving the three musketeers that living honor of "few good men"!!?! Of course, the rest are pretty much dead/gone by now, but the credit these three at this time of PE, the only person missing is the white hair guy!!! LOL

    They just love the insult our intelligence to the lowest..goes to show how out of touch they are. What's next? Michael jackson song 'we are the world" given they now feel after decades of squeezing citizens dry they can punch above their weight now? Maybe The Wrestler next?

  6. A few good men?
    More likely a few self-serving old men who made
    their fortune in politics.
    Goodness, the extent some people would go just to carry balls.
    If I were one of them, I would ask whoever the dickhead who came up with the idea to stop blowing my horn because being in politics is not about showing off

  7. I know what's next - a remake of "Patton", starring the major general of a goof-ball.
    Soldier 1: "There goes old blood-and-guts"
    Soldier 2: "Yeah. Our blood, his GRC guts!"

  8. Good or bad
    few or many
    we all live
    in Sin.

  9. But who is living off who huh in the end...

    low lifes!

  10. Remember LKY called GCT wooden? Everyone knows that SRN is just as wooden. Perhaps a more apt title is "A Few Wood Men"?

  11. "a few traitors in paradise" best describes the 3 men....the Goon, the Bad and the Ugly.

    two served the enemy known to brutalised their countrymen and only on paradise island are they allowed to become president and pm.
    the third traitor of course went along with the scheme and all three have no qualms robbing the dumb natives in broad daylight, you might say.

  12. no shame - bloody thick skin -- a few assholes