Monday, September 16, 2013

Batman Will Be So Envious

What the Singapore Police Force (SPF) wants, it is sure to get, and damn be the budget - that's the impression we are sensing here. We are not talking about Herman Miller chairs or Brompton Bikes, this is serious money for a super duper "gizmo-packed patrol car" that will make the Batmobile look like a Category A China import. The future police car will have a 2 to 3 litre engine capacity, definitely Category B.

Based on requirements listed so far, each high-tech fast response vehicle will be equipped with state-of-the-art GPS navigation, in-vehicle video system with four point recording and an automated number plate recognition system enhanced with night vision thermal imaging. And if the wish list seems a bit over the top, there is this locator tracker that can be fired to latch on a target vehicle  so the officers can track it at a later convenient time. Like when the exciting movie on the video system has ended.

Whatever happened to the effort to emulate the Japanese system that has police officers patrol the neighbourhood on bicycles? Japanese police departments try to be as visible in the community as possible, not hidden in a climate controlled air conditioned automobile with personal comfort system "suitable for prolonged seated operation and safety".

While they are at it, why not buy the Lotus Esprit Series 1 "Submarine" car that was featured in the 1977 James Bond film, "The Spy Who Loved Me"? Propelled through the water by a working electric motor, the vehicle would be perfect for patrol duties in the flood prone areas. It was last sold by RM Auctions on 9 Sep at 616,000 pounds (US$967,000), but it's a heck cheaper than a F-35B Lightning, the plane that AOL Defense reported Singapore will be ordering 12 units at US$108.5 million a pop (price tag as of 30 July 2013).

18 comments:

  1. A visitor asked me, "Where are the policemen?"

    I was dumbfounded and could only reply, "We are such a peaceful country that we don't need them!"

    Duh.

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    1. I have this feeling our men in blue are sitting comfortably in some aircon lounge watching us through surveillance cameras planted all over the island. Thermal imaging cameras used in the national geo documentaries was effective in pitch darkness up to 7 km so long as body heat is emitted. I believe drones will be the future equipment and it will attract our young men/women to sign up.

      To handle rioting ah tiongs, just dispatch a few drones to drop $2 bills from above....with trail of 50 dollar bills leading them into the red luxury vehicles.

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  2. Shhh, wait police catch. Now even faster, you sure die ah.

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  3. We are one of the richest countries in the world aren't we? So, what is a few measly thousand bucks? Anyway it it good for the morale of the boys in blue. You are behind time. We are getting those wonderful missiles. To hell with your complaints. As our dear leader said, Singaporeans are champion grumblers.

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    1. The people as tax payers are the politician's paymaster, but being looked down upon as mere milking cows. All these money will not buy the richest time. It must be hurting the old tormentor to realise that the control of information is no longer possible. So little time and still so much knuckle-dusting to do.

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    2. A foreign trash trying to carry balls. FO!

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  4. what is of utmost important is;

    will these be used as "wailing cars" to send the old shit on his final journey????

    of course, we will have 60% mourners lining the street wailing in concerto

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    1. Hahahahaa.. sounds like North Korea. They would sure make it compulsory for the PA, CC, RC, NTUC, SAF, MOE, etc, And ferry these people in buses to attend.

      I saw how they operate in one of those opening events. Very efficient like the army. Once minister and reporters left, everyone boarded the bus and disappear too, like a flash mob.

      Maybe throw in some GST voucher and packet lunch.

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    2. So cynical but written in truth.

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  5. the faithful 60% will be lining the boulevard staring from changi airport (why???? because of the standing cock) all the way to merlion park (again why??? because opposite it is the two fengshui porcupine mounds front by the 3 tombstones across the ponding bay)

    as for the etipath .... :

    "BENEATH NEAR LIES THE BODY OF DOG ... oop gOd, waiting to jump out (as claimed) when the nation is in crisis" (what fucking crisis??? i dunno know)

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    1. Keep taking the medicine. You'll feel better and your English will improve. Trust me.

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  6. A civil service that just keeps feeding on blood squeezed out of the masses - every failed nation big or small goes down the same path of bureaucratic hubris.

    Kish the dog actually made a good point in Saturday's ST: the system is full of individuals compartmentalized in different ministries all only interested in fulfilling its own workplan and KPIs, no one is there to see the big picture. Certainly clarified what V Bala meant when he uttered "Closing of of AYE due to flood is not acceptable!" - he was blaming Lui the transport minister for not ensuring AYE was flood-proof! With a great leeder like pinkie supported by photo-op man kojak and what-do-u-think boomerang teo, no wonder even the eunuchs are agitating.

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    1. Yah.. he is obviously trying to divert the flood problem to Lui. Everything not his problem.

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  7. Would our men in blue have the balls to take out any rioting Tiongs if need to? even with the Batmobile? Looks like any potential local problem is more like we are easily overwhelmed by "invited" foreigners than anything else.

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    1. Leave that to our Ghurkha merceneries, no problem.

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  8. I saw a private car running through a red light outside the Bishan library on Monday evening. And just at the same traffic lights is a white police car. Children can be seen crossing over the road. And the car ran over the red light AFTER coming to a stop, and not during a orange-red light changeover.

    I wonder if that is why a high-tech patrol car is need. The other cars will bochap the current models.

    (Or perhaps the officers in the patrol car is off-duty. Or the officers know someone in the offending car?)

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  9. Why? Because not enough policemen, simple as that. Why not enough? Because people like you guys (majority of the population) wont sign on. Why? Oh I dont know, blame the pap for this, remember to throw in foreign talent, and Dont forget excessive pay. yawn.

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