Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Quotable Quotes

Don't bother about setting off for the morning or evening jog to exercise your heart as the good doctor recommended.  These recent utterances are surefire triggers to set it pumping furiously, and raise your blood pressure for good measure.

Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew:
"... for those who want to have a smoother ride home, they can pay the dollar, use it before 8pm. For others who choose not to do so, they can ride after 8pm."

National Development Minister Khaw Boon Wan:
"... the arrangement between EM Services and RWS is a commercial one. In other words, it has nothing to do with the Government".

Minister for Communications and Information Yaacob Ibrahim:
“The strength of our media in Singapore lies in being credible, fair and objective in their reporting."

Defence Minister Ng Eng Hen:
“SAF trains rigorously and realistically. Obviously to ensure the safety of our soldiers and our men, we have strict safety protocols."

Former Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew:
"This was the plan which we had from the very beginning, to give everybody a home at cost or below cost."

Acting Manpower Minister Tan Chuan-Jin:
"Based on reports by TODAY and Lianhe Zaobao on 10th Nov 2012, the two Integrated Resorts (IRs) directly employ more than 22,000 staff, of which about 70% are locals. MBS hires over 9,400 full time employees, of which 60% are Singaporeans."


  1. Our MSM journalists, if they had been professional enough, should have ask this stupid cow is EM Services related to the Govt by any chance ? Or who owns or appoints the GM for EM Services ?

    So was he telling all of us a blatant lie ?

    1. About E M Services
      EMS is an established provider of property and engineering management services jointly owned by Keppel Land and the Housing Development Board of Singapore.

      About HDB Corporation Pte Ltd
      A subsidiary of Temasek Holdings, HDB Corporation (HDBCorp) is an established provider of integrated urban planning, architectural & engineering design and other building consultancy services. Its core business also includes township development. Previously a Building Division under Singapore's Housing & Development Board, it plays a prominent role in furnishing the nation with a premium public housing programme. It has exported its expertise to various countries across Asia and the Middle East. Surbana Facilities Management is a wholly-owned subsidiary of HDBCorp and provides property management and maintenance services.

  2. One day I would like to publish a book entitle bloops and blunders from MIW...............anyone keen to help

  3. To summarize the quotes :

    "it is not our problem that there are problems, in fact we planned for there to be problems so that we can have a bigger paying job solving all the new problems, and you are welcome".

  4. Very good CSI work on the origins of EM Services.
    The CEO position in EM Services.
    Is it a political appointment?
    Meaning is the CEO of EM Services a card carrying member of the Pro Alien Party?

    1. In other words, it has EVERYTHING to do with the govt?!

  5. I LOL at the last bleep. The MOM minister has to rely on the MSM to get the employment figures. WTF.

    1. MOM Minister has to rely on MSM for the employment figures.
      Because if he uses his own MOM figures, the numbers may tell a different story.
      Maybe 80% of jobs went to foreigners?

    2. Maybe half if these are given citizenship to meet the quota?

    3. 70% are local...local what? local residency permit holders who now reside locally...or local native singaporeans?

  6. Lie meter readings.

    Lui Tuck Yew : 0
    Khaw Boon Wan : 6
    Yacoob Ibrahim: 9
    Ng Eng Hen : 2
    Lee Kuan Yew : 7
    Tan Chuan Jin : 10

    1. Starring TCJ as the cunning fox, LTY as a blur fuck, YI as a brown noser, KBW as the sinister one, NEH as a shepard and LKY is the tua pek kong.

  7. Go figure why our greedy government aka pap-controlled government want to go into money-making business.


    because they have all the advantages and benefits of doing business here due to political power. Evading taxes through creative accounting and kangaroo policies only avail to the govt-related money-making business here, and nowhere else .

    It is well-known that kangaroos who exploited the Sinners here, try to do likewise in other countries through improper means and endup as DISGRACEFUL.

    It is not like it is new to us.

  8. It runs in the family. Some call it a curse, others refer to it as heaven sent.

    Yet some call it politics at its best.

    The day of reckoning is near and the hangman's noose swings ready.

  9. PAP-MIW Joke: Harry Goes To Hell
    Well, one day, Harry Lee found out he wasn't immortal, because he died and went straight to Hell.
    He was met by his old friend, the Devil, who reminded him of his pact. Harry tried to argue, but the Devil had much better legal skills and unfortunately the part in the contract about selling one's soul in order to rule a country was air-tight and binding.

    So the Devil made Harry a concession. "Well I have to put you through Eternal Torment, but since you're an old friend and someone after my own heart, I'll allow you your choice of punishment. Come see what your political rivals are going through."

    He took him to the first cell, where Chee Soon Juan was starving away, chained up, just inches away from a sumptuous banquet.
    "That'll teach him for going on hunger strikes," grinned Harry, but declined this punishment.

    The next cell had Chiam See Tong strapped to a table with his mouth open while a wild goose above walked around, crapping.
    "Serves him right, but not for me," said Harry.

    The Devil opened the door to the last cell. J B Jeyaretnam was naked, chained to a post, while a Catherine Lim in leathers was forced to perform fellatio on him.
    "What kind of punishment is that?" ejaculated Harry, "But in any case, I'll take it!"

    "Sure?" asked the Devil.
    "Absolutely," replied the former Senior Minister of a tiny island.
    "OK, in you go," ordered the Devil, as a few henchmen started to strap Harry Lee and bring him into the cell.

    Looking into the cell, the Devil shouted, "Right, Catherine, we've found your replacement, you can come out now!"


    1. Unoriginal, but deserves a clap and evokes a hearty laugh!

  10. http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Lee_Hsien_Loong

    I think the following from PM Lee can share the cake:

    "Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I'm going to spend all my time thinking what's the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week's problem and forget about next year's challenges?"

    "You put out a funny podcast, you talk about bak chor mee. I will say mee siam mai hum..."
    Very similar in rhythm and tempo to this ditty from Alice In Wonderland, a fairy tale : The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings.
    Quite the poet or rapper is our PM. About fairy tales...

    The Kingdom of Lanfang is fast becoming Animal Farm. This menagerie has talking hens and horses, jumping cows, flying pigs, one-eyed dragons, deaf frogs, daft dogs, meek sheeples, under-age chickens, pigeon holes-in-the-sky, kangaroo ...., and hordes of aliens. LOL.