Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Santa's Naughty List

Santa has a new helper in the form of SchoolStickers.com. The website provides personalized rewards to students in some 10,000 schools. Those who receive reward stickers from the company get online access where they can redeem their "good behavior stickers" and gift items. The company then uses that information to track the names of children who have been naughty and nice throughout the year.

We don't have a ‘Santa’s Naughty and Nice list’ in Singapore, but we do have quite a few names who deserve to be blacklisted by Saint Nicholas:
  • Liu Tuck Yew, for trying to fob off a fare hike by dangling  free Wi-Fi access selected MRT stations by the end of next year.
  • Tan Chuan-Jin, for ignoring the protestions about withholding our CPF beyond age 55, and fiddling with different Minimum Sums for different groups.
  • Chan Chun Sing for declaring war on the citizenry, "We must not concede the space - physical or cyber... We will have to do battle everywhere as necessary".
  • Yaacob Ibrahim for lampooning Tan Pin Pin's award winning "To Singapore, With Love" as "one-sided portrayals" designed to "evoke feelings of sympathy and support for individuals".
  • Lim Swee Say for palming off half a box of Din Tai Fung toothpicks in broad daylight at each visit because "this one is so fine that whatever is inside sure can come out." Assume oral cavity, not anal one.
  • Khaw Boon Wan, for addressing the shortage of university places instead of affordable housing, with "You own a degree, but so what? That you can't eat it." Message being, public housing will soon be beyond reach of graudates' pay.
  • Vivian Balakrishnan, for pointing skywards at the ceiling while the rats are busy colonising the burrows below at Bukit Batok MRt station.

One could easily add Intan Azura Mokhtar for endorsing Yang Yin application for residentship, Teo Ser Luck for inventing a special needs child traumatised by heckling, or Alvin Yeo for not practising what he preached in court. But the list will be too long, and our Christmas will truly be ruined. Instead, we could follow Liu Thai Ker's suggestion ("Can you use your imagination to picture a nicer scenario?") and dream of a white christmas without the rats in parliament.

10 comments:

  1. Hey Tattler, you just have to spoil my dreams - telling me to dream of a white Christmas. It is the guys in white that I want to banish from my dreams. There is no need to name the individuals. They are all on the naughty list.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The naughty list, as you said, is too long if you were to list out all of them. It is easier and shorter to list the nice list. Appended below is my nice list:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Would be nice if Santa spanked them ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are too kind.

      Delete
  4. santa got better things to do than spanking little self serving in white leetards...zzz

    ReplyDelete
  5. IS a great list, but I think you forgot to check it out twice.
    The list should be markedly longer than this one…




    ReplyDelete
  6. The website is full of carrots!! Is like miracles.

    If it were ran by MOE or NEA, it would be full of sticks.

    If Santa were to give it out, top of the rats achievements would be Best-Bullying Awards to them, as so openly witnessed by the citizens.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The list is not complete without the inclusion of the Great Leader. For trying to quash a jobless blogger over the CPF, maybe? Not exactly a true Christmas spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It will surprise no one to find rats in cabinet in Sin.

    patriot

    ReplyDelete
  9. Which Minister was it that decided that LTA shall tighten enforcement to catch illegal parking at unbroken double lines, not that there was any broken double lines to begin with ?

    I really hope those LTA enforcement officers will not NATO (no action talk only) but really start their enforcement with those parking illegally around the mosques during Friday prayers ?

    But then do you think PAP will risk sending ALL Malay votes to the opposition since not all Malays dislike PAP ?

    ReplyDelete