Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Weird To The Very End

Recently a tembusu tree was planted at Duxton Plain Park together with a time capsule intended to be unearthed 50 years later. The time capsule was filled with cards, tributes, newspapers and other tear-jerker memorabilia which marked the North Korean styled week of mourning in March. We won't know what will happen in 2065, but it is unlikely Lim Swee Say - born July 13, 1954 - will still be around to murder the English language.

In his swan song message to the trade unions, Lim urged his troopers to weave technology into manufacturing, services and daily life. "Incorporate" would be a better choice, since sewing takes us back to the bad old days when the textile industry was mainstay of employment. The guy who coined lexicon atrocities like "betterer" and "upturn the downturn" claims that his intent was "not to spoil the language" but simplify communication with the workers. Which makes you wonder what's so complicated about "return our CPF at age 55".

How can someone schooled at Catholic High School and National Junior College - no degree mills, these esteemed halls of learning - produce an output with a, in his own words, "limitation in explaining complicated policies to people"? And still be made cabinet minister, drawing a million smackerooes a year, year after year. Laughing at his own CPF statement along the way.

Last month the outgoing labour chief came up with "futurise", supposed to mean seeking out change instead of yearning for things to remain as they are. This month, he is saying "futurisation" means "early bird catches the worm." If you can figure out which planet this weirdo hails from, we don't really want to know. They should just include his species in the time capsule, and let the future generation of scientists wrack their brains, trying to understand how we even survived 50 years under such Leedership.

20 comments:

  1. There won't be and end to the howlers from this weirdo. They should have buried him with his Leeder like the terracotta soldiers.

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  2. every court needs a jester.

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  3. We had Harban Singh during the early days so why find it strange that we should have a LSS today?

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  4. The Clown Prince needs a betterer fool to take at least some heat away from him. At least people won't say he is the greatest idiot of them all.

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    1. Agreed with you. LOL

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    2. Yup, he surrounds himself with fools so that he will look wise.

      “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

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  5. Why bother with a new time capsule? What happened to the old time capsule buried somewhere at the old National Stadium? They couldn't find it! Disappeared into thin air, er, thin earth.

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  6. Time capsule is part of the mythologization process lah.

    With CSS "on the ground" singlish that involves "keechiu" "guay peng" "mai liao lui" etc, he is very fitting for the role.

    Let's revisit his knack for hokkien-peng English here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-HLM_0pDvY

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  7. Is it fair to say Lim Swee Say came from the PAP-LKY School of Government.
    And that LSS was mentored by Mentor Minister LKY?

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  8. Lets futurise our politics and get rid of the duds.

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    1. I agree! Futurise his retirement and send him the opportunity to enjoy his huge CPF collection.

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  9. Well for this zero zorro, pilferring of tooth picks is to futurise his investment. He is one of the few chosen ones who are allowed to view his CPF statement monthly. Others will have to wait till year end when they receive their statements.
    One thing that is for sure is that in 50 years time, he will need no tooth pick. He will futurise his mouth and has no tooth to pick.

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  10. Don't underestimate big words like weave technology into manufacturing. Our ministers have hundreds of fresh faced grads who write these meaningless pig vomit, and then "weave in" pretty words. Meaningless because these guys have ZERO experience earning a honest buck, by subsisting on the tax payer. In real life, a million dollar CEO gets fired if his business fails, so who is he to preach to business operators about technology. I will weave in this: Don't teach your father how to F***!@

    But lets not digress: the secret to success in politics and business is to say nothing, but sound insightful. On this measure he succeeds brilliantly

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  11. Don't play play, this toothpick pilferer was a SAF scholar (anyway if you throw a stone into a crowd, you will probably hit one). He graduated from Loughborough University with first class honours in electronics, computer and systems engineering in 1976, and a Masters degree in Management at Standford University. One wonders, with such academic excellence, how he acts and speaks like an Ah Beng or a weird. Is it all a showman's act, a dissimulation or disguise (eg masquerading as Zorro) to put everyone off their guard? Don't underestimate him because he is smarter than we think. You don't end up being a jiak liao bee Minister by being a hack - but of course you need to be a toady extraordinaire.

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    1. Is Loughborough University one of those degree mills? I recall he once telling how he asked a grassroots leader for help in buying a new pc.

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    2. He was probably a cheapskate when he asked someone to help to buy a pc. Loughborough University is a reputable university, famous for sports. Sebastian Coe was an undergraduate at around the same time as Toothpick, and now he is a Lord and a Pro Chancellor of the university. We don't have a Lord Lim, but he sure knows how to lord it over the workers.

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  12. I thought he would have locked it up virtually (or futuristically) in the cloud and it will only open up on your screen in 50years time instead of burying it which is out of date?

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  13. I tot ToothPick LSS betterer mentioned some fable about being some deaf frog in a some soddy pap well somewhere...oh never mind...with uppity folks like these on top...once too many of them on top...humanity extinction is a sure solid bet. Sad. But factually true...can check past historical precedents of past extinction events or pure permanent screw up in humanity past history cos of too many of this "type" in charge on top...zzz

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  14. Only in Singapore where most voters are duff, daft and dull, that people like the cartoon figure Lim Suoy Suoy can be appointed as Labourers' Chief for such a long period of time, collecting countless Millions of Dollars as a Minister Without Anything To Do, in the Pee-AIM Office, as well as another countless Millions of Dollars for the post of Labourers' Chief, with year-end fat bounus at least $5 millions and above.

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  15. Better still, put him inside the capsule.

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