Catch Them If You Can

Similar to the Sarawak-Taib sting, investigative website Cobrapost had a camera equipped journalist walking into banks, pretending to be a unnamed politician whose house could no longer contain his stash of cash. According to the Economist article ("Evasive Cash", Mar 23-29, 2013), bank staff were only too willingly to oblige. "Yes, yes, don't worry sir, all people do this," assured one bank official. It quotes a 2010 World Bank study of 151 countries concluding that India's shadow economy, defined as legal activity concealed from the authorities, as equivalent of one fifth of GDP. The money laundering  was usually efficiently effected by tweaking rules for setting up accounts and insurance policies.

The Private Banking Industry Group (PBIG), not the Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS), has on its own volition, established a set of guidelines to "protect themselves from tax criminals". The PBIG guidelines expect its staff to determine whether there are any reasonable grounds for suspecting that the funds are proceeds from serious tax crimes. To protect themselves, new clients must acknowledge in writing that they are responsible for their own tax affairs, and/or that they have not committed or have been connected of any serious tax crimes.

What the banking staff will consider as a red flag in respect of a client's taxable assets will be difficult to determine. In September 2011, Eduardo Saverin renounced his U.S. citizenship to obtain a Singapore passport. That his citizenship change reduced the capital gains taxes Saverin was liable for after the Facebook IPO is a sore point with some parties. From the U.S. side, the Ex-PATRIOT Act may result in Saverin not being permitted to enter the U.S. in the future. Will such uncharted territory be covered in the new regulatory measures in July 1, which is intended to designate serious tax offences as money laundering predicate offences?

A clearer case is the courier who takes the ferry from Batam on a regular basis, with wads of U.S. dollar bills stuffed into a sports bag, to distribute to political cronies on the take at Singapore hotels or similar. Remember Lee Kuan Yew's story about Indonesians who fly in for weekend shopping? Some of these guys end up richer even after splurging oodles at the boutique retail outlets. If you had run into the nondescript Mohamed (not his real name) you wouldn't have suspected his true mission objective, what more the humble bank clerk.

Bright Ideas From A New Citizen

This has to be one foreign talent with a capital "T". Billionaire Bhupendra Kumar Modi, a new citizen who ranks 23rd in the Forbes list of Singapore’s richest, is recommending that singles as young as 25 be allowed to buy subsidised HDB flats to "encourage sexual relationships and earlier marriages".

Not to worry, this being Singapore, if there's a bun in the oven, you can go ahead and plan the wedding dinner. Just make sure there are more invitees than the number of tables booked, not unlike Khaw Boon Wan's recipe of building flats just short of meeting demand. That's one way to guarantee a profitable enterprise.

But what if the gentleman turns out to be a cad, and refuse to protect the deflowered lady's honour? Then you are on track with the casino strategy, build first, worry about the proliferation of gambling ills later. Anyway, the billionaire also said, “Most of the girls and boys these days would like to have sex before they marry.” Modi, 64, who has three children and five grandchildren, must be speaking from first hand experience when he added authoritatively, "“There are no virgin marriages.”

Modi is the global chairman of Spice Global, an Indian conglomerate headquartered in Singapore. His Spice Innovative Technologies provides voice, data and computing services. If his local hires include Singaporeans, he would have realised that it's not a simple matter of boy meets girl to "counter a slump in the birthrate that’s depriving the economy of workers". Being so rich, he probably missed out on the small problem of affordability.

Yes, Khaw did announce plans to cut prices of flats by 30%, dream prices which can be financed by 4 years' earnings, but the details have yet to be revealed. Since January, mortgage  payments have been capped at 30 percent of monthly household income, when there were no restrictions on bank loans before. A 3-room flat, minimal requirement for a viable family setup, is still pegged at $255,000 at SkyPeak@Bukit Batok. That's easily a 20 year loan at 3% interest. And if Modi had considered national service, he should realise that a young male graduate having served two years drawing about $500 a month would have limited savings at age 25.

Perhaps Modi should also recommend scrapping the COE. The money saved should certainly help with the house purchase. While waiting for Khaw to improve on the waiting list, the baby production rigmarole can be initiated at a discrete car park. For recommended sites, check the press reports on the CNB and SCDF gratification court cases.

A Question Of Morals

Horikoshi (not his real name) liked to complain that he was dumped in Singapore, robbed of the opportunities to hob-nob with the corporate elites at head quarters in Tokyo. His cardinal sin, as he imagines it, was having spent two years working with a gaijin outfit in America. Has he stayed faithful to the careerist route of graduation through retirement, he would not have lost out in the mad race ascending the corporate ladder.

Once Hori had to play host to Takagi - another fictitious name to protect the guilty conscious - a top dog from HQ sent to inspect the regional offices. After making the rounds of Bangkok's notorious night scene, Takagi wanted a lady for the rest of the evening. Hori discreetly left his boss at the Royal Orchid Sheraton foyer. Unfortunately for Hori, Takagi was stopped cold at the lift doors - hotel security was strict about female companions allowed access to guests' rooms.

Presumably the faux pas would not have happened in Singapore. Our under aged hooker seems to experience no problems sashaying into the hallways of the best-of-the-best hotels in town - Shangri-La, Mandarin Oriental, St Regis, etc - to chalk up another mission accomplished. And she has the envelopes to prove it too, envelopes which the UBS executive stuffed dollar bills into to pay for services rendered, even if not remembered in open court.

Islamic morality police in Malaysia arrested more than 80 Muslims in an operation to stop them celebrating this year's Valentine's Day, which the government-run Department of Islamic Development says is "synonymous with vice activities" and that it contravened Islamic teachings.

Well, our very own Commissioner of Police has set a higher standard, equating dalliances outside of marriage as tantamount to corruption, "reprehensible acts" which "tainted the whole police force". One is reminded of Lee Kuan Yew's own strict morality benchmark, which was intolerant of divorce among cabinet members, causing much grief to Goh Keng Swee's personal affairs. So will the top cop be gunning for Michael Palmer next, and - gasp, gasp - the Minister of Law K Shanmugam?

Damsels In Distress

Class 95 FM plays old songs like "Papa Don't Preach" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". Whether you listen to Madonna or Cyndi Lauper, you can get into trouble with the law. Even if you wear a skirt.

Sacked

Amy Cheong was driven bonkers by the ruckus in the void deck. If she had bitched about the decibel level in another country, she could have earned herself a fatwa. But in multi-racial Singapore, she was castigated in one single day in October 2012 by the likes of Tan Chuan-Jin (1.30 pm), Tharman (4.30 pm), Shanmugam (5.30 pm) and Lee Hsien Loong (6.30 pm). When "Zorro" Lim Swee Say personally sacked the NTUC Assistant Director of Membership, Singapore permanent resident Amy decided to take refuge in quieter Perth. Long after apple polisher Lionel de Souza, secretary of the Inter-Racial and Religious Confidence Circle made a police report, Cheong was issued a "stern warning" via long distance and the case was closed. Time for the wheel of justice to turn: approx 5 months.

Stuck

Ms Lo, a.k.a. "Sticker Lady", ran afoul of the law when she spray painted "My Grandfather Road" on a section between Robinson Road and Maxwell Road in May 2012. And she tickled the funny bones of many with circular stickers captioned with Singapore truisms like "Anyhow Press Police Catch" and "Anyhow Paste Kena Fine".  She will be charged in court, after about 9 months, for 15 counts of mischief. She was originally arrested for vandalism on June 3, which implied caning as potential punishment, except she's a girl, unlike poor Michael Faye. Whether the intervention by Law Minister K Shanmugam changed the course of events is unconfirmed. His ex-wife Jothie Rajah, writing in her book "Authorian Rule of Law", opines that justice here tends to be politically motivated, citing examples like:
- Vandalism Act was aimed at Barisan Socialis’ street messaging;
- Newspaper and Printing Presses Act 1974 was aimed at securing control of the print media;
- Legal Profession (Amendment) Act was aimed at the Law Society’s criticism of the government’s attempt to extend controls to foreign media;
- Maintenance of Religious Harmony Act 1991 was aimed at the 1987/1988 detentions of social justice activists who supposedly had the support of the Catholic Church;
- Public Order Act 2009 was aimed at the pesky streetside protests of opposition leader Chee Soon Juan, who was fast gaining (foreign) media attention.

Framed

Lynn Lee, who left The Straits Times in October 2011 after 8 long years, was named in a Wikileaks release. It quoted her exchange with a political officer of the US Embassy in 2008, saying she would “never write about racially-sensitive issues”. What she did say was she would not want to write articles containing racially-charged remarks that could incite hatred or create rifts within society. Her filmed interview about SMRT bus drivers' complaints (alleged police quote:“Do you know I can dig a hole and bury you? No one will be able to find you.”) has landed her in hot soup. In February the plainclothes policemen who attempted to confiscate her phone, laptop and iMac in search of footage of the interviews could not tell her which section of the Criminal Procedure Code (CPC) authorised them to effect the seizure of private property. The Ministry of Home Affairs has said the authorities are investigating and taking a serious view of the allegations of police brutality. But pressed for explanation in parliament, Senior Minister of State for Law Indranee Rajah would only mouth, “So the intention is not to not give an answer". Male or female, the high handedness is much in evidence.

A Policeman's Code Of Conduct

Why on earth is the Commissioner of Police blowing his own trumpet in nearly two full pages of the Sunday Times? Has it to do with global brand consultant FutureBrand that was appointed last August for 18-months and at an undisclosed price to taxpayers to polish up the image of the Singapore Police Force? Executive director Ms Sarah Reiter heading the McCann-Erickson WorldGroup consultancy was formerly chief of planning at Ogilvy in Jakarta. Ng Joo Hee, 43 when he was given the top job in 2010, said "FutureBrand is not the cheapest (of 8 bidders)" and had done work for Australian Federal Police and the United States Army. Their website boasts of Singapore clients like Jurong Town Corporation, Republic Polytechnic, International Sepak Takraw Federation, Asia Sports, Rotary Engineering, and Markono (formerly Kin Keong Printing Pte Ltd).

Ng itemises four areas that may have kept him awake at nights: Terrorism, loan shark harassment, molestation on public transport and "errant motorists". The last three definitely have been hitting the headlines recently, but hasn't Mas Selamat Kastari been locked away? While on the subject, when will we ever get to know how he made it across the Straits of Johore?

On paper, Ng makes a better by-election candidate than a colorectal surgeon. This guy has degrees from Oxford and Kennedy School of Government at Harvard. For the humble beginnings angle, we are told his parents were hawkers (running a sundry shop in Tanglin Halt). All we need is an uncle to help out in financing  renovation for his first HDB flat, and the branding exercise is complete.

Another lady, security consultant and former intelligence analyst Susan Sim, who has known (presumably not in the biblical sense of the word) the commissioner for more than 20 years, calls him "a warrior philosopher".

Then there's this curious bit of personal philosophy that sticks out. Apparently he encourages his MBA wielding commanders to "imagine having competition", his personal imagined competitors being Hong Kong Police, NYPD, Metropolitan Police in London, and the Shanghai police. Imagine internecine paranoia, an enemy in every corner office.

Then there's this curious bit about an unsolicited commentary on another law enforcer. "Boon Gay has been found not guilty... but certainly his acts are reprehensible," he says. "He has broken every one of our values and he has tainted the whole police force by his behavior and that is very disappointing." Wow, that's gotta be judge, jury and executioner pronouncement on a fellow officer who has been proven innocent by our legal system.

One year ago in January 2012, prime minister Lee Hsien Loong had said of former Central Narcotics Bureau Director Mr Ng Boon Gay and former Singapore Civil Defence Force Commissioner Mr Peter Lim, "If he did wrong, he must be punished; if he did nothing wrong, he must be exonerated." Even during those early days, there was loose talk both Ng and Lim were collateral damage of "friendly fire" from within the ranks. It must be tough to do your job, if you have to look over your shoulder while looking after the safety of the people.